Bandits
by Silly Woodpecker
Summary: Artemis Fowl, Butler and Juliet conspire to steal a valuable painting.


**Disclaimer - I do not own any of the characters, except maybe Lord Christian Gallagher/George Listerdale.**

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BANDITS

**Chapter One**

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"Who's the Subject?" Butler asked.

"Lord Christian Gallagher." Artemis replied, his head bent over a sheaf of papers.

"Gallagher?" Butler said perplexed, "The man has been dead for years."

"Presumed dead, never proved." Artemis corrected.

"Ah." Butler understood, "Where is he now?"

"The correct question would have been '_Who _is he now?" Artemis looked up at Butler.

"Sorry, wasn't thinking." Butler groaned, "I feel so old."

"That's okay, Old friend." Artemis pardoned, "Lord Christian is now known as George Listerdale. Currently resides in a humble cottage in the small town of Winchesterton. He took up a different identity and switched locations just to protect his precious painting."

"Any security?" Butler asked.

"That's the best part." Artemis smirked, "The man seems to be under the impression that nobody will find him in Winchesterton, he employs no guards nor does he have a safe. For all we know the work of art could be hanging above his mantelpiece. As far as I know he has an impressive series of locks on his front door. That is all."

"If you ask me the man is just asking for trouble." Butler voiced his opinion.

"So, let's give it to him." Artemis smiled.

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Juliet adjusted her hat to give it a bit more a tilt. Her sparkly shadowed eyes scrutinized the pearls around her neck. Pearls, she scoffed, not her style, but Artemis had specified her to wear them. Juliet sighed; at least they went with the rest of her drab outfit. It looked like something out of the 19th century. The poofy dress, the hat, the shoes...All she knew was that they were a part of the plan.

When Juliet was ready she knocked on the door of Artemis' hotel room. They were in a hotel in London. Artemis answered almost immediately.

"Lovely, Juliet." Artemis stated, "Perfect for the part you're going to play. I trust Butler explained it to you?"

"Yeah," Juliet said, fingering her dress, "When can I get out of this thing and into normal clothes?"

"As soon as we get that painting." Artemis said.

"Hmm, okay." Juliet consented, "Turn the air conditioning up, it's so hot!"

"As you wish Lil' Sis." Butler said, smiling at his sister, she wouldn't look out of place in The Importance of Being Earnest play.

Just then Juliet noticed what Artemis was wearing.

"EW, Artemis, you look gross." Juliet commented.

"Thank you, Juliet. I'll take that as a compliment." Artemis said, observing himself in the mirror. He _did_ look gross. His dark hear was messy and greasy, his clothes were tattered and his faced smudged with dirt. Not the usual appearance of the genius billionaire, but it _was _for the plan.

"When can we go?" Juliet persisted, the faster she got this plan over with, the faster she could get out of these hideous clothes.

"Now," Artemis said, "Butler, get the car."

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George Listerdale was walking home. His usual cup of coffee grasped in one hand and the new edition of the local newspaper in the other. George admired the beautiful countryside as he walked, Moving her was the best choice, George told himself. It was true George could have locked p his precious painting in a high security vault, but he wasn't like that.

He didn't understand why people spent millions of pounds on a single painting only to lock it up, never to be seen.

Lost in thought, he plodded home. Suddenly he heard a feminine shout, a call for help. Snapping to attention he looked around to spot a young lady being assaulted by a scruffy urchin. With a shout he ran to help her, seeing the man approaching, the boy ran off. The beautiful young woman slumped onto the ground, dazed but unhurt.

"Madam, are you alright?" He asked, offering his arm to support her.

"Oh yes, quite alright." The girl said, breathless, she took his arm, "I can't thank you enough…"

"Oh no, It's fine." George smiled, the girl was indeed attractive. Long blonde hair, deep blue eyes, a lithe, tall figure. He picked her hat off the ground, dusted it and handed it to her. He examined her outfit. He loved a lady who dressed with impeccable conservative style. He only wished more women would do so.

"Thank you," She said and put it on.

"May I escort you to your house?" He asked politely.

"I don't live around these parts. I was just visiting a friend in hospital." The girl disclosed.

"I see. If there is anything I can do to help please don't hesitate to ask." George added, desperate to see this girl again.

"There is one thing." The young lady said.

"Yes…?"

"I need a place to stay until my friend gets out of hospital."

"No problem, I have a vacant room in my cottage." George smiled, "May I offer it to you? Free of charge."

"That would be lovely," The woman beamed.

"This way." George said, leading her to his home.

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"Jade Princess is in company of the Subject," A deep voice said through a walkie talkie, "Repeat, Jade Princess is in company of the Subject."

"Excellent." A disheveled boy hidden in the hedges replied, "Simply excellent."

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**AN- Review please! I'll update as soon as I can. Sorry for the short chapter. According to my research (a search on Google) Winchesterton really exists, but I just happened to think of the name so in this story it's just a sleepy old town in England.**


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